04 June 2011
My Gift... XIII
I usually don't write myself poems about celebrations... my 13th year of sobriety was different. It was truly a long year and I battle my mind and emotional drunkenness.. I knew my marriage was over yet for some unknown reason I kept trying to make it work... this is what I wrote as an intro to this poem four years ago.
13 years ago this weekend was the last time I got drunk. This year, was a challenge for me. Not that I wanted to drink, I was just becoming to edgy, wanting control, and basically not being "spiritually centered."
This year more than ever I got down on my knees and thanked my Higher Power for this wonderful gift - sobriety.
It hasn't always been easy, but one thing is for sure - it's been real!
My Gift... XIII
anxiously awaiting a gift
a gift... for myself
a gift... given by me
it was a choice... made years ago
a choice... that gave me a life
I gained sanity and lost insecurity
I found respect and lost madness
instead of confusion... I found peace
I gained strength and lost anger
gratitude came and control left
no longer was I desperate... now excited
no need for manipulation... I gained trust
spirituality replaced materialism
I became comforted... no longer exhausted
guilt left and initiative came
abandonment was replaced with boundaries
forgiveness became stronger than resentments
while acceptance threw away denial
it is a wonderful gift
a gift that gave me reality
but took away dreams
than the dreams reappeared
and took away the nightmares
XIII... a chip... a life...
all acquired by the Grace of God
one day at a time