06 June 2014

I Need A Power

The 2nd Step of ACOA says, “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. “

I Need A Power

Please... please... I beg you
please take this pain away
a grown man scared like a little boy
the pain can't be seen... yet it is real

So much guilt for things beyond my control
so much shame from long ago messages
the guilt kept me defeated
the shame became my life

Insanity became the sanity
the unhealthy became a way of life
and the alcohol that I hated?
Became my best friend

I hated that god of childhood
never protected the child
and seemed to enjoy the yelling and screaming
it seemed to enjoy the pain that was everywhere

That god was buried when adulthood came
no longer would it be prayed to or worshiped
it was an evil god
who hated children and hated peace

Yet survival on my own was impossible
I needed a power to restore the sanity
a sanity... I never knew
a sanity... I began to pray for

I know a power is waiting for me
to become friends... to become one
I cherish the day that we will meet
and dream of the day of peace and serenity

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