30 March 2013

Pain brings growth

The Law of Experiential Perfection states that every experience we have on this plane is perfect from the standpoint of our growth process.

I believe it is a fact that pain brings growth. Very humbly, I would have to say that if this was entirely true I would be at least 20 feet tall. The pain of childhood, which I write about in Creating Dreams, stayed with me into adulthood.

Addictions, failed marriages, failed friendships, finances, jobs... the list is nearly endless.

Yet, it has been perfect. There is no other way I could have grown into the person I am if I didn't experience the pain I have.

I freely admit I don't understand how it all translates yet I know it is perfect. Somehow being homeless gave the strength to grow and learn how to manage my finances.

The unaddressed alcoholism of my parents, gave me growth to recognize my own demons and with the Grace of my Higher Power, got me on the road to recovery.

The pain of watching and hearing the domestic violence at a young age, at first made me a victim, yet through growth and accepting the fact that I was powerless, has given me wonderful holidays in England, including weekends in high class hotels in London and Liverpool.

The pain of watching siblings fight each other and physically abuse me, first filled me with rage and now it has taught me to walk away, not in fear, but rather in silence. A silence of strength, knowing that it just isn't worth it. That my spiritual life means more then trying to fulfill a fantasy of brotherly companionship.

When I left the east coast after high school, my life went down the black road. (The Lakota believe the black road is the road of death and destruction.) I had no love for life or those around me. I used and abused people for my own dysfunctional needs.

Yet, that black road saved me. If I didn't become an alcoholic or had been homeless, I doubt I would have ever been grateful for what I have and for what I have learned.

Everyday is a day of growth. A day to learn... in the greatest school of all – life.

Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. I still make mistakes. I still have those, “what were you thinking?” moments. But I'm still learning and still growing and right now that is perfect for me. And it is just the way my Higher Power wants it to be. Finally, I am on the red road...

1 comment:

  1. I have created my own 'family'. I have chosen people who treat me kindly and believe what I say. For me, there cannot be any true healing of any relationship until the perpretator/s of any abuse or denial admit what happened. I cannot forgive my abusers as they have not sought my forgiveness. They are in denial. Complete denial - yet AGAIN protecting themselves. I accept these sick people for being who they are...most days. I have reached a level of acceptance. I cannot forgive them even if I wanted to as they haven't asked for it. I try to surround myself with uplifting loving individuals who validate me and who hopefully I give some validation to and bring some joy and love into their lives! I refuse to play happy families. It destroys my soul. I don't totally avoid those concerned but put up a VERY HIGH fence around my soul when I'm in their presence!