As Henry Fielding once said, "The slander of some is as great a recommendation as the praise of others".
Oh! How I have come to realise this! I used to be so concerned and upset if anyone said anything nasty about me! It used to really bother me! Even if the sickest nastiest person in the world said something horrible about me I would be distraught! I would feel absolute terror. I HAD to make them like me.
The 12 Steps, developing a very close relationship with my Higher Power, and, a very wise AA sponsor in the early stages of my recovery, taught me it's not the end of the world. She used to say "Snowie! Why do you care that such a person thinks/talks ill or bad of you ?" She was SO wise.
Alanon & Acoa further developed those beliefs and feelings within me. I am so thankful. Kindly worded constructive criticism from a genuine caring loving trustworthy source is welcome and can be so helpful at times. The rest? No thanks!
I guess that now, I hopefully have a healthier sense of 'self'. A healthy sense of who Snowie is and to not allow her to be buffeted by the winds of people's opinions.
Of course there will be times when faced with criticism delivered in an unhelpful way - say for instance from a Boss, that it may have to be endured. There are bills to pay! However such criticism is NOT who we are.
Thank you AA! Thank you Alanon & Acoa! Thank you Higher Power!
'Belittling criticism' only serves to belittle the critic. This I know from experience. I was not always an Angel myself in this area! Belittling others only ever truly belittled me.
Blessings !
S.
One of the benefits of living a life built upon the 12 Steps is the joy of knowing that we are students of the world... constantly learning and constantly growing.
ReplyDeleteIt was you Snowie, you taught me that it is none of my business what others think of me.
Thank you for your wise words...