11 November 2015

The Legend of the Blue Pill Man

Anymore it seems that all our medical problems can be solved by taking a pill. A TV ad can tell us of all the wonderful benefits we will experience by taking this pill. But what I find comical about these ads are the warnings at the end of the commercial. "Can cause liver damage, some patients experience diarrhea or constipation. In minor circumstances some have experienced near sightedness or far sightedness."

The list goes on and on. But as many times as I have heard the commercials for ED, I always get a chuckle when they say "Seek medical attention if you experience an erection for more than four hours."

The Legend of The Blue Pill Man is a light hearted look at this dilemma.

he thought it would be a blast
but the old lady said, "not so fast!"
"you can put that thing away...
where not doing that today"

he hadn't thought it all through
he peaked out the window
and saw the neighbors dog
a Rottweiler named - Sue

he shook his head in disbelief
man... did he need relief?!?
it was only an hour ago
he didn't know whether to stay or go

was it the truth or just a story
of the Blue Pill Man in all his glory
clothes were just to damn tight
time to let it shine in the sunlight

the wife's mouth dropped open in shock
when the door he unlocked
he walked outside for the world to see
singing the song "Born Free"

two hours had past
but right than... time wasn't moving fast
he couldn't believe that thing wouldn't go away
he couldn't stay locked up the rest of the day

this pride had to be shared
it was truth... not a dare
streaking down main street
feeling the asphalt on his feet

with an ear to ear grin waving to all
praying it'd never fall
just when he thought he'd been blest
it was the beginning of a new mess

out of the corner of his eye
oh my God... it wasn't a lie
four cops were chasing him
the race was on... who'd win

bow legged running away
they still talk about it till this day
smiling... he still waved
it was a Kodak moment the cops would save

ran into a field... hiding in the grass
if they looked hard they'd see his white ass
three hours... four hours... now at five
his little buddy... still very alive

no cell phone... no doctor to call
when will this bad boy finally fall
in the darkness… cops still buzzing around
that romp down main street... was the talk of the town

on that clear summer night
when the moon shined bright
a legend was born of the blue pill man
running all night throughout the land

they finally caught him at sunrise
sound asleep... but still standing tall with his prize
the blue pill man was taken away
but where he went... no one would say

some say he's part of a circus side show
still ready to go, go, go
others say he's the father of ten
a new generation of proud blue pill men

the town remembers his man-made mountain
and talk about erecting a monument with a fountain
yeah the Blue Pill man ran around our city
and we didn't know whether to applaud
or give him our pity

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