Through my time on the web, I have met some very interesting people. Some of these folks have become dear friends. I share a lot with you - my audience. But these people have seen a more personal side of me.
I share this little bit about this side of me and this site because
for every one of these find folks, I also receive more than my share of
notes that are full of anger, disgust, and some just plain fanatics.
One of the most vicious of these people talks about the 12 Steps
being "devil worship." While praising God, he runs Bill Wilson into the
lowest depths of hell. While praising the Lord in one breath, his next
is filled with wishing death to every member of AA.
I tried a couple of times to chat with this person, in what I
thought, was a diplomatic way. But how does that old saying go? You
can't win a pissing contest with a skunk. I finally gave up and started
praying for him. That isn't meant to sound self-righteous, but rather
an act of survival. You see over our short time of dialogue, this
person became my higher power. And the only way for me to become
spiritually centered once again was by praying for that person. The
more I prayed for him, the more my Higher Power came back into my life.
It was through these conversations that I began to go back in time
to my early recovery and my search for a Higher Power. I knew
everything I needed to know about the religious God. And quite honestly
I wanted nothing to do with a God of the church.
I grew up in a Catholic home and went to a parochial school. The
god I grew up with was one to be feared. A god you never questioned.
One in which you should feel "blessed" even in the face of unjust
That was the god I grew up with and it was a god I didn't want in my
life of sobriety. So I searched. I studied the ancient mythologies,
eastern philosophies, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, as well as Native
What I believe today isn't as important as the journey I took to get
to where I am at right now. It was a rewarding experience, one which I
honestly believe my Higher Power encouraged.
It was because of this journey that my belief in the 12 Steps got
stronger and I began to compare the 12 Steps to other thoughts. The
most logical was the 10 Commandments.
The picture above, I created about two months into my sobriety.
Just recently I took that original drawing and created my first computer
graphic of it.
The 10 Commandments are broken down into two tablets. The first one
has three commandments dealing with our relationship with God. The
second tablet has the other seven commandments dealing with our
relationships with our fellow man.
I took that thought and created one for the 12 Steps. The first
tablet has steps one through three and deals with our journey of finding
our Higher Power. The second has steps four through nine and deals
with the actions necessary to correct our past. And the final tablet
has steps ten through twelve and shows what we need to do to continue a
life of sobriety.