15 May 2011

Grateful

Since I started recovery over ten years ago, honesty and thruthfulness has been a major part of my Program. Its seen in the way I write and relate to others. I've now had the privilege of talking to others in different phases of recovery, both through AD and my community. People with one day sobriety to a couple of years, who are struggling. They have a hard time with the pain. Congratulations! You can feel! Time was when "numbness" was better then feelings. The pain will leave, good times will come. Enjoy all these new feelings...


Grateful

"Hi, I'm Dave.
And I'm a grateful alcoholic."
"Hi, Dave!?!"
As I start to talk,
The puzzled looks,
Grateful to be an alcoholic?

Grateful, for a second chance.
I found a friend - God.
I found myself - humility.
I found life - without paranoia.

Grateful, I was no longer numb.
Feelings - appeared.
At first, not pleasant.
So much pain and remorse,
But... I felt it.

No longer hidden in a bottle.
I felt your pain.
The shame and guilt,
So much suffering.
But, I'm grateful,
I felt it all...

I cried from the damage,
I had created.
Sad and depressed,
So many feelings,
I never knew.
I tried to describe them.
I tried to touch them.

So many unknown feelings.
Grateful - they were mine.
Feelings - what a wonderful word.
Pain, remorse, regret.
Through the suffering,
I survived... with God.

That was so many years ago...
But yet, it feels like yesterday...
The pain then,
Brought acceptance,
And serenity, for today.

I'm a grateful alcoholic...
God had faith,
When I doubted.
Now... I can feel...

2 comments:

  1. The first 12 reviews from Authors Den


    Reviewed by Tina Tessina 2/26/2005
    Hi, Dave: I'm glad you asked me to review this -- it's a heartfelt poem, and nicely done.

    thanks,
    tina

    Reviewed by Regis Auffray 2/25/2005
    I like Jerry Bolton's take on this, Dave. This is powerful, honest and brave for sharing because, in so doing, you help others. I know I always walk on the edge myself. Thank you. Love and peace to you. Regis

    Reviewed by L. Figgins 2/25/2005
    Feeling and dealing with the pain is the only way to yourself, as you have expressed beautifully, Dave!

    Reviewed by Russ Okamura 2/25/2005
    A very powerful piece, your poetry is real and honest.

    Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 2/24/2005
    Bold and honest write....I appreciate this wonderful write of yours...love n luck.....BHUWAN!!!

    Reviewed by Faye Enno (Reader) 2/23/2005
    Very nice!

    Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 2/22/2005
    Dave,

    Very profound message here - very well written ... thanks for sharing this outstanding piece!!

    Blessings,
    Robert

    Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson 2/22/2005
    wow powerful message not hidden
    out front so many go years....wow
    such an understanding of what it all is about clearly to be able to breathe and feel and relate
    you have done a wonderful thing with this...this needs to be read a loud everywhere!!!! a healing revealed!!!!

    Reviewed by Kate Clifford 2/21/2005
    The wisdom in your sharing I know will help many others. This is a fantastic write.

    Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers 2/20/2005
    Dave, there is a message of deep healing within these lines. Some will take their strength and climb higher..some will just simply wade around in them trying to decide for themselves whether or not they want to dive in. I hope they decide to take a swim..
    This is not only a brave write, but as you have pointed out, an injection of honesty and truth..and thats a product there can never be too much of!
    Bless You Dave..Keep up the great work! Lisa

    Reviewed by jude forese 2/19/2005
    the truth about honesty is that is keeps us focused and determined to keep true to our promises and when we look behind ourselves we see the truth before us ...

    keep up feeling truthful ...

    Reviewed by Zenith Elliott 2/19/2005
    This should be posted at every AA and NA meeting! I worked in Corrections for many years and volunteered my after hours time sponsering these programs so that any inmate interested in trying to work the program would have access while incarcerated. Even though I am not an addict for years I was an enabler for addicts. You've written a powerful message in this write. Peace and best wishes! ~Z~

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  2. Another 13 reviews from Authors Den

    Reviewed by Kate Burnside 2/19/2005
    ... And I think God is pressing my buttons this evening... I'm not an alcoholic, but I DO look forward to an evening glass of wine and am only just seriously getting in touch with the issues of alcoholism and paranoid schizophrenic illness I grew up with in my family. I can so relate here to the feelings of numbness that you explain - and truly grateful, like you, that God has more than proved Himself to me - such that He has saved and protected me from many roads to ruination and despair. And that was even BEFORE I was aware I might be "damaged". Your words here will open a Pandora's box for some, perhaps, but, like me, perhaps we will begin to appreciate that daring to look inside and see the truth of what has been happening to us is the first step on the road to wholeness and freedom. Thank you for this. Bless you, Kate xx

    Reviewed by Felix Perry 2/19/2005
    Very moving and brave write.
    Felix

    Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 2/19/2005
    Dave,

    I applaud your courage in admitting you're an alcoholic, THANKFULLY on the road to recovery. I applaud your attitude in saying that you're grateful: you should be, since you got a second chance at life. :) Many others don't.

    A beautiful, thought provoking, inspiring write--thank you, sir :)

    (((HUGS))) and love, and congratulations on your sobriety, Karla. :)

    Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 2/19/2005
    Blimey. You sure done good cos I sure have admired and admire your writes.

    Keep on keeping on. Out of Dantes 7 th circle. Good going..

    Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 2/19/2005
    I am glad that you can say this and you did so very realistic. In my church they are many alcoholics including the minister. We are all grateful Dave.

    Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU 2/19/2005

    Profound expressions from true emotions delivering a lesson of life.
    Healthy Creative Life, Poet!
    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


    Reviewed by George Jackson 2/19/2005
    Oh this is a keeper for me, and it is something I will read often, when that pain just wont seem to go away. Thank you for posting this, Dave.

    Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/19/2005
    Dave, thanks for sharing , your attitude and hope, is an inspiration to all even non alcohol related! just that you can beat something so addictive is a glorious accomplishment, to be proud of! That you give the thanks to God is splendid!

    Love, Eileen

    Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/19/2005
    You touched me with this one Dave!!

    Sharing a house with an abusive alcoholic is not easy!!

    Love Tinka

    Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 2/19/2005
    I am so happy for you, Dave! May you have ten more years of sobriety, and many more than that! Wonderful write; well done!

    (((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

    It takes a very big man to admit he has a problem, and it takes a bigger one to do something about it, in which you have! So I commend you!! :) You are in my prayers, buddy! :)

    Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 2/19/2005
    Good going. I have been a drunk and an addict. Quit 'em both. It is all a matter of perspective and no program in the world is going to cure you unless you find that perspective. Good.

    Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/19/2005
    I think everyone deserves a second chance, and it takes a wise man to acknowledge that he got one and move forward.

    A very heartfelt powerful piece, Dave.

    Reviewed by joseph miller 2/19/2005
    Beautiful honesty well expressed!

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