12 April 2010
Secure with Nature
Today was a gorgeous day in the Plains. I could hear lawn mowers going and for a split second I felt a little sorrow because I don't have a yard to play in. But then I came back to reality. I haven't been able to play in a yard for the last three years do to allergies. Which now being on my own, I'm not sure if I had allergies at all.
I used to take one pill a day for allergies, I haven't taken one in three months. I don't need them anymore. Something I figured out last month was that it was all the cigarette smoke I was around that had a major effect on me. I was never a heavy smoker... at most a pack a day. While my wife with all her medical problems is a four pack a day smoker.
Well, now being on my own and having never smoked in this apartment I can breathe again. The last month I kept cutting back on more cigarettes and now I'm on my nine day of being smoke free. And with that I feel physically and mentally really well.
So today, I decided that my yard is this whole community. So I went on a three mile jog/walk. It was awesome... ran along the river... through covered bridges and under old train bridges. It was just great to feel like I was one with nature.
On this journey I saw young couples enjoying their stroll. Families riding their bicycles and I wondered would I ever enjoy a relationship with someone who enjoys these activities. While I may think about it the truth is... I'm not ready for a relationship. I've got a lot of things I want to “fix” before this year is over. Like I keep telling a friend, by the end of this year... I want to be the best me I can be.
And right now, I know that I will be going on this jog/walk nightly. It was quite relaxing and I very much felt the presence of my Higher Power. And through this stroll of nature I realized that I am secure enough to keep moving forward.
To not worry about what others think... or the gossip thrown at me. My program isn't about defending myself from unwarranted stabs in the back, but rather to keep moving forward with an attitude of gratitude to my Higher Power.
If I continue to stay secure with my feelings toward my Higher Power... my motives will always be healthy and my objectives pure.
It is amazing how much my mind was opened just being out in nature... running with the sounds of a river right next to me... just a totally awesome way to end the weekend.