12 March 2010

Attraction or Promotion?

This is an entry I made on an ACOA message board, in which I am a moderator.

To have an example of attraction to me is thinking back to my early days in the program. Sitting at meetings and listening to a certain person talk. It was hypnotic as he shared his ESH. His program of recovery to me was attracting. He had something I wanted. He wasn't promoting himself... by just being himself he was attracting others.

An example of promoting a recovery program would be someone saying the only way for the 12 Steps to work is through the Bible. Or that after sitting in 10,000 meetings they know the 12 Steps like the back of their hands. They are promoting themselves as experts. Instead of me saying, "They had something I wanted." They are saying, "I have something you need."

No 12 Step program has ever been a program of promotion. They rely on their members and the way they live their lives as a method of attraction. Some folks, like myself, speak quite freely about their lives in recovery and share their ESH with the 12 Steps, either on websites or in books.

For myself on my website I have a disclaimer page saying that my site is not endorsed nor approved by AA or CODA or ACOA. I even go one step further stating that the 12 Step program isn't the only method for long term recovery, but it is the program that has worked for me. Now by doing that and sharing my experience is it promoting a certain recovery program? I don't think so. I'm sharing my joy with a 12 Step program that has worked for me.

Why am I bringing this up? Yesterday, on my YouTube site, my video entitled "ACOA Promises," became part of a debate on the traditions of ACOA. I looked at the stats for the video and seen that it was also being shown on different sites on the web. All of them were ACOA sites... one being a very well respected ACOA blog. And on every site that someone could leave a comment, the subject about attraction and promotion came up. Not from different people - just one person. In fact, the rest of the comments were quite inspirational.

So because a video gave hope to those in recovery does that mean I was promoting a recovery program... or using the power of attraction? I went to bed last night a little upset over it all and woke up today, finding the questions had come up on this board.

But now it was growing into copyright infringements and using non-approved literature. So I retreated to think before I spoke. I deleted the sticky I had with the 12 Steps and 12 Promises.

If we are truly a program of attraction and not promotion then this board shouldn't even be in existence. By sharing like this we are breaking a tradition, and what is almost comical about it all is the person who is so worried about it, is himself breaking a tradition by voicing his concerns about it in a public forum like this.
As far as non-approved literature and other ACOA material, I have always tried to moderate this site with the same guidelines that the AA board uses here. If it can help with someone's recovery then I'm all for showing it and for those who take the time to share it. And we will continue to operate that way.

I'm just a little perturbed by all of this and hopefully by removing the video from here... it will end.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent a bit,

Did it end - Heck no. Even after a group conscious discussion, he still raised cain. Saying he felt like he was being gang raped. I responded that he should apologize for using "gang rape" to express his feelings - that he was in no position to know what it feels like to be gang raped. Which he wouldn't do.

Later that night he then started in on the finances of the board... I told him how to get his answers and went to bed. Next morning, once again, my YouTube site is blitzed with messages from him and how he was banned from the site.

But later in the day, there he is posting. Will I get an apology? Hell no. Don't you know we're all wrong... he's the only one who gets it!!! Grow up little boy.

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