25 December 2009

Not feeling well on Christmas

The weather in the Midwest is nasty, thank God for that, because I feel like crap. Our family get together has been canceled at least till tomorrow. So today, I've been getting massive hours of sleep.

I've been awake for about an hour and checking some e-mails. Don't even have the strength to read some from a person I enjoy talking with. So I just wrote a quick note about how I feel and hopefully will look at them later.

So, I then did a surfing around the web and went to a couple of message boards. And I now know for a fact in my mind... the biggest most insincere people in 12 Step groups belong to ACA/ACOA. Not all of them... in fact I've made three very close and real friends from this group.

But the ones that have not dealt with their past through the 12 Steps... always have to be heard. They have to throw in their two cents whether it hurts someone or not is not as important as being the center of attention.

Someone had a topic on being rigorously honest. Well, one person mentioned "I have no problem calling a spade a spade, and its not taking another person's inventory."

I kind of shook my head. I'll say a prayer for you tonight. That's not being rigorously honest - that's just being mean and being a know it all. Rigorously honest only deals with yourself - not others. It is being honest about how you relate to others and finding (and correcting your own flaws.) It has nothing to do with taking another's inventory.

Maybe, I got sick today for a reason. So I wouldn't lose my cool with this person. The fact is she's just not worth the time to try and correct. Heck, she has quit and rejoined that site more times then a roulette wheel spinning. It just ain't worth it. You can't win a pissing contest with a skunk...

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