19 September 2009

Principles before personalities

Principles before Personalities

This simple little tradition is a part of every 12 Step group. It is impossible to get a group of people together without some friction developing because of personalities. That is where the principles of the program and what we are working for are more important then personalities.

Through my time in various face-to-face meetings, I have met people whom I really didn't care for as a person. There was one person who as soon as they spoke it raised my blood pressure. And though I never told this person that I really didn't care for them - they knew.

It happened after a meeting one night and we ended up outside and somehow we started talking. That night, that person earned my respect. He said, "I know we'll never be friends, but that doesn't mean we can't support each other." He was right and that night I learned that principles are a lot more important then personalities.

My recovery is not only based on my friends in the program, but also those I'm not quite close too. Worst enemies may never be friends, but together they can work towards a common goal - that is recovery.

On another post, Rosie mentioned that she was close to leaving this board awhile back. I remember it like it was yesterday. There was very little activity on this site. You'd post something and maybe get one or two responses, but over 50 people viewed it. But we came together as a family and made it work. And every time someone new joins our family, it brings a smile to me, knowing that we have overcome personalities and have been living the principles.

As this board started to grow, more and more people were sharing, and I don't know about anyone else, but I feel as though I've gotten to know each one of you personally. We've got a great board here because we have become part of each other's lives. We have indeed moved beyond personalities.

And because of that it hurts me when someone just leaves. They delete their profile and it makes me wonder - was it something I said or did? I may never know and it hurts. Each one of us plays an important part in making this board work and when one piece of our wonderful family disappears, it creates a void... a hole... that's hard to replace.

The principle of this board is to share our ESH and share a part of ourselves in a safe environment. That principle always needs to be first - ahead of personalities. So, if there a personality conflict, try to resolve it in a healthy manner, that not only benefits you but also the other person.

Principles before personalities can not be achieved by oneself. It's a team effort... wait... let me change that... it's a family effort. And in my opinion, this family, this home, is worth that effort.

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