27 August 2009

Is honesty always the best policy?

I've been getting so many inspirational messages lately, that I needed to share my thoughts on it all. Every message that has been given to me, in the last couple of weeks, have come from one source - honesty.

It's an awesome feeling to be treated with so much respect that others can be honest with you. But I've been wondering is honesty always the best policy? Or is it the way in which honesty is delivered which makes it the best policy?

If I believe I am threatened, either aggressively or passively, do I owe it to myself and my attacker to be honest in how I feel about this attack? And by being honest, do I have a "right" to go on the attack or should I do it in a non-threatening way?

No matter how I approach it, I will have my guard up because I already feel threatened... or belittled... or useless. So no matter how diplomatic my response will be, I'll be attacked because I already have that perception.

I don't know if I ever will get this "honesty" thing down pat. I do know that no matter how hard I try to be honest, I always end up worrying how the other party will receive my honesty. So with this worry, I wonder can I ever be totally honest with myself?

I often wonder is honesty always the best policy? Sometimes, I honestly don't think so. With tongue in cheek, here are two examples where I believe total honesty isn't always the best policy.

First, a simple greeting that many of us exchange, "How you doing?" as we pass each other on the street. Usually, I'll say, "Good, how are you?" And we keep on walking past each other and go about our business. If I was totally honest with myself, I'd stop that person and tell them my worries with my job, my bills, my wife's health, and a lot more. I'd hold them hostage for most of the day telling them the truth. And by the time I was done, that person would walk across the street the next time they saw me, just to avoid me.

Another example every man can relate too. Your wife or girl friend puts on a dress and asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" Is this a time to be rigorously honest? I don't think so! LOL

In my opinion, honesty is meant to protect me and help me grow as well as helping others grow. Do I wish that everyone was honest with me? Yes, I do. That means they trust me, that they don't have to walk on pins and needles around me wondering if their honesty will hurt me. They'll already know that answer because our relationship/friendship was built on honesty.

But what about those who we relate to every day? I consider a lot of these people friends, but I know in my heart that they couldn’t handle the honest truth. So I continue to learn who I can trust enough to be totally honest with. Sometimes, the ones that I think can “handle it,” and end up shutting me down are the ones that hurt the most. I guess because I’m not as in tune with my intuition as I thought I was….

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