Happy (Sad) Anniversary

One year ago today, a recovery message board that I was a moderator on began to crack at the seams... the reason? One very toxic person who decided they knew what was best for everyone.

She made posts that I deleted and I sent her private messages as to my reasoning for deleting those threads... but she ignored theses messages and continued to be belligerent and anything but in a recovery mind.

It finally got to the point that I set down very strict rules for her to follow... so what does she do? She sends that PRIVATE message to everyone. That day nine members were on the board at the same time... how do I know that? Because it is still the most members on at the same time...

That day was the beginning of the end of that board... six months later I was removed as a mod and I left. I wasn't the first one to leave... nor the last.

That person got her wish and got me off that board... in the process though other people left... today the board is dead... the on-line meetings are dead.

It is sad because it all could have been diverted if she just made amends to the people she hurt. But in her mind she didn't hurt anyone.

Oh well, out of it 14 of us found a new board... a home we could call our own... where we aren't wondering if the new member is someone who we don't want it to be. From that 14 we are now at 19 and making new friends and recovery mates.

None of this would have been possible if this person wasn't so sick... so in a way she helped us all find a better home...

These folks have helped me with some inspirational thoughts... here is one I wrote to the board as a whole...


One written from a thread about giving thanks inspired by Beth


And one from some childhood photos of a lady named Rosie


Well, to that person thanks for raising so much cain... because of you I have found so much peace and happiness...

An apology

I realized something today. I have been consumed in a very unhealthy way with the goings on of a forum of which I am no longer a member of. The injustices that I was preaching about I was now doing.

I am done with it... no more. Time to let go and let God.

John, I apologize for what has taken place over the last couple of months.

I do not apologize for anything I did as a mod on your site because what I did was done for the health of the group as a whole.

I apologize instead for my actions since I left...