Swallowed Alive

I've been doing some reflections on my past and it just amazes me how much fun I thought I was having.  It was carefree and at times pretty harmless... but everyday I played these harmless games a little bit more of me was swallowed alive.

The path of recovery is littered with folks that lost their battles to alcoholism and addiction.  From high school car crashes to overdosing rock and roll stars... we all know someone who lost the battle.

Which makes me grateful for a second chance... as well as humbled wondering why I'm not in the ground...

I was helpless... I was powerless
I was sad... I was alone
I was out on my own

Alcohol and drugs
relieved the pain
thought I was at peace
really quite insane

Homeless... sleeping under bridges
eating from dumpsters...
stealing to stay alive
sometimes wondered
if it'd be easier just to die

 A line of coke
and a can of beer
for awhile it made the pain disappear
No will to fight... no end in sight
might as well held a gun to my head
this ain't life... better off dead

Everyday... the same story replayed
but the finale always stayed
story lines and people may have changed
drunk every night... with suicidal thoughts
an end to the nightmare is all I sought

That was the past
the memories though... I hope last
that's right... I don't want to forget
stay in my mind... firmly set
no way I want history to repeat
can't feel comfortable relaxing in a seat