The 7th
Promise of Debtors Anonymous says that we
will recognize that there is enough; our resources will be generous
and we will share them with others and with DA.
When
is enough enough? Is £500 enough? £1,000? Is a 46” TV enough?
Or is a TV in every room enough? A car… or two? New Shoes? Again
when is enough enough? What I learned when I was deep in debt that I
never had enough. As crazy as it sounds I needed more to fill the
hole that debt created.
The
paradox of it all though was that the hole I created with debt only
got bigger, only got deeper when I acquire more stuff. And as the
hole got bigger and deeper, I needed to get further in debt trying to
satisfy my own needs. To satisfy my materialistic soul.
When
I left my previous life at the end of 2009, I left behind a three
bedroom home, that I had my own private office in. I left behind a
three car garage, two home made ponds, and a little over an acre of
land. And of course, a mountain of debt.
I
left behind a two year old SUV and drove a 25 year old Cierra Cutlass
that had over 200,000 miles on it. I
moved in a small one bedroom apartment with a computer, a computer
desk and chair, an old TV, a plate, fork, spoon, a pot and pan….
and little else.
The
apartment had a couch and that was it. I slept on that couch or on
the floor for the first two months that I lived there. I finally
purchased a used mattress and it was enough. By then I was used to
not having cable TV, so I got rabbit ears and it was enough.
For
the first time in my debt filled life I had lost interest in material
things. I began taking interest in myself. I went to the dentist
and felt great when I smiled. I went to the opticians and got new
glasses. These things always took a back seat because taking care of
myself never helped fill the hole that material things and debt
created.
As
I began realizing that I was taking care of myself, it became
apparent that my soul hated debt and it hurt my well-being. With
taking care of myself and working on eliminating debt I was able to
quit smoking.
With
the debt disappearing and realizing I had enough, I began to see I
had more than enough money. So it was time to help others without
enough. I donated money to The Salvation Army and felt filled. The
hole that was in me disappeared when I gave money for those in need.
When I helped others have a happy holiday season I realized it was
the best gift I had ever given myself.
Today
I don’t own a car. I rely on buses, trains, and shoe leather and I
have enough. I don’t travel like I used to, yet I find time to go
to the nearest city at least once a month for a night out and I
realize that I have enough.
When
I stopped trying to compete with others, as well as myself, I
realized I had more than enough. I have a roof over my head. I
have clean clothes to wear. The heat is on and I am warm. I have a
job. And I am loved. I certainly do have more than enough.
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