Sometimes

As a child I was abandoned. Raised in an alcoholic home with two alcoholics. My mom was out of control, my dad was out of control, and they were in control of me.

The violence I witnessed as a six year old until my mother's death when I was 18 was more then any human should have endured.

I called the cops to stop the violence when I was eight and they did nothing (Strike One), I talked to nuns and priests begging for help and they did nothing (Strike Two). There would never be a strike three. I shut down and turned off the world around me.

And Sometimes I wonder why as a child God let me endure such pain?

sometimes... sometimes...
I wonder... I wonder...
why it happened
the way it did

crying... pleading
for your help
and it hurt
when you turned away

sometimes... sometimes...
I wonder... I wonder...
why it happened
the way it did

a child growing in fear
hearing the screams
seeing the blood
unable to feel... turned numb

sometimes... sometimes...
I wonder... I wonder...
why it happened
the way it did

unable to understand
the path... the journey
turned to stone
just to survive

sometimes... sometimes...
I wonder... I wonder...
why it happened
the way it did

learned about Love
but where were You
so many years ago
when I needed you must