Recently I have been reading 'The Compassionate Mind' by Paul Gilbert. His words on choice (p175) resonated with me..."We are surrounded by firms and businesses showing us how we can have 'more and better' by offering us more choice. That sounds like a good thing doesn't it? And if balanced, it is. But researchers have pointed out that more choice can also lead to higher expectations and more doubt, disappointment and even dissatisfaction with oneself. Suppose I want a car and there's only one choice. Well, I've worked hard to get one and I'm pleased with what I get. But suppose there are a hundred different types to choose from. I'm not sure which is best (and of course I'll want the best for my money) So I make my choice. If it's not exactly as I'd like, then I start thinking that maybe I made the wrong choice, that another car would have been better. 'Oh gosh, maybe I was too hasty. Maybe I should have tried out some more.' I'm now not only dissatisfied with my car but also a bit self critical and dissatisfied with myself! Then it turns out that the car has a little fault and has to go back to the dealer. My friend says 'Oh I bought this other model and never had any problems with it, why didn't you buy one like mine?' My first thought is 'Please lie down and let me run over you'."
Often when faced with a myriad of different breads in the supermarket to choose from, and whilst being grateful to have the money to buy a loaf of bread when so many people in the world have none, I have often pondered the sheer insanity of my spending many minutes effecting my choice. I realised I was doing the same with yoghurts the other day! Part of me started to ponder just how many hours of my life I would have spent 'making such 'mega decisions' by the end of my life!
I am blessed, through the program to be a very contented soul. Simplicity can be so freeing. Too much choice, (for me) can be utterly overwhelming, paralysing and utterly time wasting. (Or as my ex- AA sponsor would say, is a 'high class problem!') I recognise, that thankfully, most choices I have to make are not life and death decisions.
Keeping perspective and not being 'owned' by needing to have the 'best', the 'latest' or even by having to always make the 'right' choice is very liberating.
Blessings!
Snowie.
I love it... this is so so true...
ReplyDeleteI do believe we are "owned" more then we own...
From breads, to cars, computers... people seem to want the best of everything even if they don't need the best.
I once knew an elderly gentleman that told me to never buy the cheapest thing of anything. Whether it was a hammer or a TV set... the cheapest thing was just to cheap.
So he always bought the next cheapest thing. It didn't matter if there was only a penny difference in price... it wasn't the cheapest...
Thankfully, I'm not into the "price matching" outlook on life.
I like pop-tarts and will spend an extra 30 cents on a package over the generics not because the generics are the cheapest, but because the name brand taste better...
As always, a GREAT post Snowie... thank you for your support