"It was hard getting over my addiction to the hokey cokey but I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about!"
Been a while since I've posted. Where to start?
There have been plenty of tears ...rivers...oceans ..... (Mmm slight exaggeration Snowie!) But you get my drift folks! Tears of frustration.. .tears of sadness yet also tears of joy at the utter kindness of others.
Tears of disillusionment. Tears at realising that some people, institutions and/or organisations are perhaps not what they claim to be on the tin! Tears at the well meaning yet often so misguided actions and words of others. OOOH I fail there plenty myself too!
Tears at not being able to FEEL God - yet tears too at being so utterly and absolutely touched by His presence.
Tears of growth.
Tears of the pain that comes with needing to question.
I will NEVER stop questioning.
Oh! So cryptic Snowdrop!!!!
While I'm here I want to say thank you to Naked Dave for his courage! OOPs! I mean Naked Daze!!!...er...I mean Dave!! for his courage in allowing this Child of God to share her innermost feelings here about ANYTHING! Yes! Lovely folks! ANYTHING!!!!
I am not limited to AA, Acoa or other 12 Step programs - in fact there are some issues surrounding these and their accompanying labels that can cause me to feel uneasy! (more perhaps on that later!) I have been given an entirely free hand to share my innermost feelings on anything!
The permission to question!!!! The permission to pose awkward questions and ponder! The permission to make mistakes ...some of which will no doubt be huge!!!
Finally ...the permission I give to myself... to re-read my posts in a few years time and think "Snowdrop!!!! What the hell were you thinking!!!!"
Thank you Dave for your courage and open-mindedness...and your trust.
Blessings!
And thank you Snowie, for being here and sharing your experience's with me and the audience on this blog...
ReplyDeleteI do think that my Higher Power is most happy, maybe even proud, when I question things... we need to question to grow.
For so many years I was to "tough" to cry and when I finally allowed myself to do so, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders.
I believe it is our way of cleansing our souls, through our tears...
In my thoughts and prayers,
Dave