10 April 2011

No Longer My Weakness

The fifth promise of the Adult Children of Alcoholic's Fellowship states, "As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses."

No Longer My Weakness

I'm scared... because of my past
I didn't want you to know
how weak I really had become
a hopeless child
who worshiped my abusers

they wouldn't lie to me
they told me I was worthless
and I believed them
cutting... biting remarks
that killed my soul

I kept coming back for more
they were my heroes
somehow... someway
I'd do whatever it took
to get their love...
honestly... just to be acknowledged
would have given me life

sadly I realized...
I was asking for something
you couldn't give
nourishment... encouragement...
support... not only for your child
but your brother as well

suicidal thoughts
a death wish to escape
messages from a past
buried deep within
outside... quiet and alone
inside... screaming and pleading
“Please I want to live”

That was it... no more
you're my past... some of you buried
others... just distant memories
there may have been good times
but I don't remember them
I've moved on...
and my weakness
has become my strength

I'm not garbage...
nor am I a mistake
a journey is unfolding
wondrous and joyful
no longer alone
me and my Higher Power
hand in hand
walking together
towards the promised land

1 comment:

  1. From Authors Den

    Reviewed by Dayvid Graybill 5/8/2010
    A transformational piece! "I am not garbage" defiantly moves us toward the future!