24 September 2019

Out of control inner child

Posted this on a forum I belong too.  Wanted to save it because of the "wholly trinity."


Seriously? Come on Bill, you just avoided going bankrupt for the second time. You pushed your student debt back onto the taxpayer and now you’re ready to spend again? SMH. You’ve mentioned in the past that you have a problem with spending, yet you’re ready to make a major purchase less then a month after acquiring a windfall? Why not try something more productive for your own future growth? The reality is that this is your last chance with having any form of savings… any form of financial security.

Why not leave the money in a financial institution for a year and learn to live on just what you earn? It will teach you the value of a dollar and help separate wants from needs and if you truly need something you will work for it. It is also very freeing to know that money is there but that you can live without it. If you can do that for a year, then do what you want with it. I bet if you did that for a year you’d realize that having it in savings is relaxing and it didn’t disappear or burn a hole in your wallet. You’ll gain some self-respect and see that the things you want can be gotten with patience and a plan.

I’ll let you in on my major plan. I want to buy a house boat. I want to live on the English canals on a boat. It is a very relaxing laid back lifestyle. I’ve been researching it for over a year and right now I could get a pretty nice one with cash. Then I’d need a simple source of income for mooring fees and insurance as well as upkeep. I can easily do it right now. Instead my plan is to wait a couple more years. During that time, I’ll still be researching it and saving more money. If I do it right, I can live on the water for ten years with no worries about any fees or insurance premiums.

It will be more rewarding to me when everything happens because I worked for it and earned it and so can fully enjoy it. The rest is just pscyho-babble which has helped me, hopefully you will read it, if not, no problem, I need to see it myself every now and then…

Every person has three “beings” within them. In me, I call it my “wholly trinity.” These three characters are my inner-child, my inner-parent, and my inner-adult. Now imagine all three are on a bus riding across the country. In a healthy person, the inner-adult is riding the bus. He is managing every curve, watching uncoming traffic, and obeying the speed limit. Behind him, sharing a seat is the inner-parent and the inner-child. The parent has his arm around the child’s shoulder, and pointing out everything on their journey. He pointing to the beautiful mountains and the lovely lakes. The child, with eyes wide open is enjoying it all, realizing he is safe and free. This is a wholesome and healthy inner-family.

Now imagine the opposite – an unhealthy inner-family. The child is riding the bus, the parent is in the rear of the bus ignoring the child, reading the newspaper, while the adult is yelling at the parent to take charge. The child doesn’t care about curves or sped limits or anything else… everything he wants, he wants RIGHT NOW, no matter the consequences. When “stuff hits the fan” the child cries and whines that it isn’t his fault. The parent hides behind the seat, and the adult tries to protect the other two by pointing fingers at everybody else, instead of accepting any responsibility for the child’s actions.

The conclusion is that the child is never wrong. We all need to have dreams, yet it is the responsibility of the parent to say no to the child and to be a parent and not a friend. If the parent can do that then the adult can ride the bus knowing that everyone has a place and everyone is responsible within their place.

I spent the majority of my life with my inner-child riding the bus, going from one disaster to another. Form unemployment, to homelessness, to addiction and alcoholism, to finally finding financial security and peace.

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