30 April 2018

7th Promise of Debtors Anonymous

The 7th Promise of Debtors Anonymous says that we will recognize that there is enough; our resources will be generous and we will share them with others and with DA.

When is enough enough? Is £500 enough? £1,000? Is a 46” TV enough? Or is a TV in every room enough? A car… or two? New Shoes? Again when is enough enough? What I learned when I was deep in debt that I never had enough. As crazy as it sounds I needed more to fill the hole that debt created.

The paradox of it all though was that the hole I created with debt only got bigger, only got deeper when I acquire more stuff. And as the hole got bigger and deeper, I needed to get further in debt trying to satisfy my own needs. To satisfy my materialistic soul.

When I left my previous life at the end of 2009, I left behind a three bedroom home, that I had my own private office in. I left behind a three car garage, two home made ponds, and a little over an acre of land. And of course, a mountain of debt.

I left behind a two year old SUV and drove a 25 year old Cierra Cutlass that had over 200,000 miles on it. I moved in a small one bedroom apartment with a computer, a computer desk and chair, an old TV, a plate, fork, spoon, a pot and pan…. and little else.

The apartment had a couch and that was it. I slept on that couch or on the floor for the first two months that I lived there. I finally purchased a used mattress and it was enough. By then I was used to not having cable TV, so I got rabbit ears and it was enough.

For the first time in my debt filled life I had lost interest in material things. I began taking interest in myself. I went to the dentist and felt great when I smiled. I went to the opticians and got new glasses. These things always took a back seat because taking care of myself never helped fill the hole that material things and debt created.

As I began realizing that I was taking care of myself, it became apparent that my soul hated debt and it hurt my well-being. With taking care of myself and working on eliminating debt I was able to quit smoking.

With the debt disappearing and realizing I had enough, I began to see I had more than enough money. So it was time to help others without enough. I donated money to The Salvation Army and felt filled. The hole that was in me disappeared when I gave money for those in need. When I helped others have a happy holiday season I realized it was the best gift I had ever given myself.

Today I don’t own a car. I rely on buses, trains, and shoe leather and I have enough. I don’t travel like I used to, yet I find time to go to the nearest city at least once a month for a night out and I realize that I have enough.

When I stopped trying to compete with others, as well as myself, I realized I had more than enough. I have a roof over my head. I have clean clothes to wear. The heat is on and I am warm. I have a job. And I am loved. I certainly do have more than enough.

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