07 November 2015

I Was A Man

As a child of an alcoholic, I grew up way to fast. And with this growth I threw away things that weren't needed for my survival - like feelings and emotions.

With recovery, I began to see that I needed to be a child again and learn functional ways to deal with life. 

I was a man
scared of the future
numb to the past
frozen... in time

a man who never grew up
drank to deny fear
drank to avoid pain
constantly on the run

I was a man
OD'd... poisoned
walking dead
nose bleeds... broken needles

eating out of dumpsters
sleeping under bridges
stealing nickels and dimes
for my next high

tried it all
booze... pot... LSD
cocaine... meth... PCP
a little heroin... just wanted to die
in the garage...
engine running...
the pain started to fade
and life... slipping away

but fate kept me here
change of life followed
and a journey started
... when he grabbed my arm

I was a man
now... I'm a child again
learning to walk
with dreams and hopes

I'm a child
learning to trust... and love
praying for a chance
to finally... do His will

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