Melody Beattie 'Codependent No More' p76
I feel a certain tension when I am with certain people. 'Tension' as in I feel slightly confused in their company. I have recently come to realise why this is. It is a lack of honesty. It is manipulation/control on an interesting scale! 'Interesting' as in the perpetrators come across as so 'sweet', 'gentle', softly spoken and polite. The realisation that some are absolute masters (or think they are!) of manipulation has slightly thrown me!
I now recognise and understand what my wonderful Uni professor taught me, that a 'tension' will often exist where there is dishonesty and underhandedness. He pointed out that we may not be aware what is wrong but something IS wrong. There is a tension - a tugging between what our rational mind is seeing yet our intuition and soul is feeling!
If I am dealing with somebody in an area of life where I expect to have to be on my guard - perhaps when buying a financial product or a second hand car, then I accept that there may be an element of well taught manipulation - as in how to manipulate when appearing not too!
However, to have to be on my guard with a 'friend'? Strange!
I find that a simple 'What's your real point?' or 'What do you really want?' usually nips it in the bud and throws the manipulator off course !
I would imagine much of such behaviour is fear based and even subconscious ? For that I have compassion, but I hope to not allow that compassion let such individuals control me, UNLESS of course, it is in my interest to let that person believe I am totally unaware of their manipulation/control tactics!
Which then begs the question...who is manipulating who??!!!
Aha!!!.....The not so saintly Snowie!