Sometimes, just by rambling I can clear up the confusion in my own mind. So where this goes I really don't know. I'll let my Higher Power guide me.
First, let me introduce you to my Higher Power. Her name is Love. And for me it is the essence of unconditional Love. This Love can be found in many different religions but isn't "owned" by just one. This is the Love of the universe.
My confusion with Love has been with a word that I keep seeing popping up on different websites and message boards I belong too. The word is Karma. A word that to me belongs specifically to me. I have my own karma, just as everyone else has their own. I was born with karma and my life has been learning how to live with it.
So there are my two parts - Karma and Love. Now if I believe that I want healthy karma then I need to respect everyone else's karma. If I want Love, then I need to show Love. If I want peace, then I need to show peace. So, if I believe this then is the opposite also true? If I want hate, do I show hate? Of course not, who wants hate?
So can karma be negative? Would I want karma if it filled me with hate and thoughts of revenge, if I knew it would come back at me? Even if I'm waiting for a negative karma to flow back to an evil-doer, am I not in fact waiting for that negative karma to also flow back to me.
And if I believe in unconditional Love, how can I have any feelings toward hateful karma? They can't co-exist, at least in my mind. And if I have those hateful revenge seeking thoughts that I can not be in touch with my Higher Power - Love.
Like I said, just some rambling thoughts. To me karma is the way of the universe. If I say that I'm in touch with Karma, yet pray that Love seeks revenge, then I don't have either. I guess I just can't see how they can co-exist. If I have a strong relationship with Love, then I can't have negative karma.
I guess the best definition I can think of with negative karma would be a professional victim. Thanks for listening to my own confusion.