True friendships over our lifetime change. They grow deeper and more spiritual. No longer is it about what we can give each other - it becomes a journey where two people, share thoughts and ideals and slowly become one. Kindred spirits or soul mates...
As a recovering alcoholic/addict I believe that I have been blessed. I have been able to view a lot of different worlds – which I’d like to believe has taught me to have a sense of compassion and understanding – for those who still struggle. I have empathy for the homeless and realize how fast it can happen. I also understand how much these people can teach us – if we are willing to listen.
I know the manipulative games alcoholics can play. Filled with lies and stories, everything revolving around themselves. If they can’t make you pity them, then they will try their best to shame you. If we can find a little bit of compassion we may be able to see the gift they are ready to share with us.
We have all did things that we are not proud of. Some have a hard time admitting their mistakes and taking responsibility for their actions. This is true of the alcoholic; as well people who have never drank in their life. The perfect example of this would be the workaholic. There family comes second to a job, where no one does anything right. They have to do it all – and then look for pity , the owners won’t pay me what I’m worth. Then they go into great detail about everything they have done for their company.
I use the word alcoholic because it relates to me, but I believe it is true of anybody in recovery. We’ve been blessed because we’ve been down that road. We’ve been blessed because we know how special second chances are. While we understand the evil in each of us, we constantly look for the good.
By looking for the good in others, you’re able to go deeper then having friendships. You become… soul mates. By doing this you’re able to understand that we are more then neighbors or friends. We are brothers and sisters. We are family.
Awhile back, I had some e-mail conversations with a guy quite a distance from my home. His first correspondence with me, he said how honored he was that I took the time to talk to him. While he was building up my ego, I was humbled, because I felt honored that he took the time to talk with me. As our conversations grew, he made the comment that he felt he had a “friend in sobriety.”
I’ve also had this type of experience with my poetry column. I’ve got a few very loyal contributors to this column and one always writes me a personal letter every time he submits a poem. On the one year anniversary of my column, I signaled him out and told the readers that he was one of the reasons we should celebrate the success of The Poets Quill. Within a week, I got a letter from him and he signed off with “To my friend.”
I can go on and on with stories like these. It is our ability to share and want to give that makes us spiritual beings. To give… without thoughts of what is in it for you. This act of giving makes our world magical. It is the place where dreams come true.
Not only does your dream come true … but by giving… the recipient’s dreams come true also. We are all linked. We are all one. We are soul mates.