My Mind

As a writer, as well as an alcoholic... I know I can't always make everyone happy. Spiritually, I need to stay centered with the right attitude of how to treat others... not to attack... but rather just to share... my ESH.

I shake my head at "ESH." I recently had a troll on a message board who claimed to have over 30 years of sobriety but had no idea what was ESH. I might have accepted that, until this person attacked me on a thread. By attacking I mean, telling me what I should do and how I should feel. Certainly not 3o years of sobriety there.

Anyway, I wrote this poem in 2004, after being attacked in another way...


My Mind


My mind is blank,
Nothing to say,
No human to thank.

My mind is numb,
No thoughts inside,
Feel like a lazy bum.

My mind is hurt,
Same old crap,
Just kicking dirt.

My mind can't concentrate,
See others in pain,
Stop it, before its to late.

My mind thinks, often alone,
Don't know what to do,
No one hears, the screams, the moans.

My mind, wonders, did you hear me?
Did you notice the death in my eyes?
You weren't blind, you had to see!

My mind asks, will it ever be OK?
To forget the nightmares,
To throw them away?

Finally, my relationship with You,
Will anyone ever understand,
Everything we've been through?

I don't need a Book, to show me the way,
You guided me through,
Some very, very rough days.