01 June 2011

Dreaming of Miracles

years of guilt… lots of pain
it was real… I wasn’t insane
nightmares inflicted…
yet stories were conflicted

anger and rage kept me alive
hatred put me in overdrive
it became a foregone conclusion
needed drugs and booze to make an illusion

serenity came in a 12 ounce can
made me feel like a whole man
punched… fought… kicked… and screamed
destroying myself… nothing less then obscene

don’t get to close… run away
I’ll be your nightmare everyday
don’t believe it when I say “I love you,”
by nightfall you’ll be black and blue

not a pretty story of the past
memories of that lifetime will always last
filled with regret and shame
“I’m sorry” sounds so lame

but somewhere along the way
I remembered the dreams of yesterday
the wolf is still inside of me
but it’s the lamb that you’ll see

sobriety has taught me many things
but still at times I hang on to apron strings
the raging alcoholic has died
and a little child has come alive

slowly walking out of hell
free from a self-imposed prison cell
no longer needing to run
enjoying time with the Rising Son

1 comment:

Dave Harm said...

Thoughts from "Authors Den"

Reviewed by Felix Perry 11/20/2006
It is a long road to recovery and one that you can never back track on again without fear of getting lost forever. You will always navigate with care but knowing you can and will do it.
fee

Reviewed by CJ Heck 11/20/2006
You've come a long way, Dave -- congratulations to you for your strength, bravery, and humility. Excellent poem -- a blend of catharsis and freedom!
Love,
CJ