14 May 2011

Another 24 Hours

I wrote this when I was reaching out to a few people I know who were still pretty early in recovery... not a fun time, filled with depression and shame... any addictive person can tell you the loneliest place in the world is knowing you can't live life with alcohol/drugs... but you can't imagine a life without it...


Another 24 Hours


The agony of the past
the tears, moans and groans
it’s a perpetual shadow
my mind’s never alone

Frozen in time
memories filled with regret
wish I could move forward
bankrupt – emotionally in debt

Took my ninth step
but forgiveness has been slow
made amends as best I could
I just can’t seem to let go

Buried in a bottle
a dead body, just didn’t care
became a pawn of the devil
living in a nightmare

Quitting was easy
but living… just pain
don’t know what to do
sobriety seems insane

Will the pain ever leave
can the past… go away
God has forgiven me
but I haven’t… not today

Friends of Bill know
“easy does it,” “one day at a time”
AA meetings… constantly hear
“everything will turn out fine”

It’s hard to believe
I hope it’s true
watch others rebuild lives
I’m tired of being down… blue

For today… I won’t drink
beers, shots, or whiskey sours
can’t go back… fear what’s ahead
Please God… grant me…
another 24 hours…

2 comments:

Dave Harm said...

Thoughts from "Authors Den," a lot of folks thought I was writing about myself... which in a way I was... it was a trip down memory lane...

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/11/2005
Quitting was easy
but living…

Glad to hear that you're OK, Dave, and this is one truly powerful piece.

Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 6/11/2005
Sherry has said it all - Forgiving ourselves and accepting ourselves with our strengths and our weaknesses are essential lessons ... You have to forgive yourself so as to pick up the remaining pieces and move on.

God bless,

Sandie.

Reviewed by Michael Charles Messineo 6/11/2005
Dave, Substitute passion for life for drink from the past, reach out for new experiences that will last and last. Read "My List of 50 Things" at my site here on AD. Gods speed. I'm rootin' for you.

...Michael

Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 6/10/2005
You have to forgive yourself my friend...such a realistic write...love n luck...BHUWAN!!!!

Reviewed by Sherry Heim 6/10/2005
Thank you for sharing the trumoil that plagues those addicted people who have had to accept the reality that their habit ruined everything in their lives; this said,they still feel somehow drawn to the old familiar ways which brought some strange comfort to them through the numbness. Forgiving ourselves and accepting ourselves with our strengths and our weaknesses are essential, but never easy, lessons
Take care,
Sherry

Reviewed by E T Waldron 6/10/2005
Dave I hope this helps all who read it to understand the struggle you went through and overcame! Thanks for sharing, this is wonderful. I went through this with a cousin, years ago.It brought back lots of memories. He is married with children and all has been fine for years now. So glad you conquered it too!

Blessings to you,
Eileen

Reviewed by L. Figgins 6/10/2005
I think that you've struck the key, Dave. You have to forgive yourself to move forward. Gutsy, honest write...

Dave Harm said...

Another seven comments from "Authors Den"




Reviewed by Kate Clifford 6/15/2005
I have a brother that would fully understand this, I watched as he walked his difficult path and helped where I could but as you know he had to do it for himself. This will help many to feel better when they feel like they have been going it alone for a long time.

Reviewed by jude forese 6/14/2005
keep the faith, david ... every day is a journey ...

Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green 6/13/2005
Perfectly said. Believe me, I know.
Love and Peace,
Phyllis

PS: Pain does lessen in time. . .honest!

Reviewed by Felix Perry 6/12/2005
A very bold and honest look at what a sad disease booze and drugs create, keep at it David your friends are with you here at the den/

Felix

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 6/11/2005
Honest and stark and many can relate, Dave. Love, peace, and strength to you. Regis

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 6/11/2005
Glad you are okay, Dave (thank GOD you are!!)!

You have captured the helplessness and fears people face when in the grip of drugs or alcohol...the world can indeed be a terrifying place! Very well done, outstanding work!! *applause*

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :(

Reviewed by Linda Hill 6/11/2005
This is AWESOME Dave. Their is life out there after drugs and alcohol. Every day we are giving a clean slate.. a brand new day. Do some things you have been wanting to do but never had the time. I am proud of you for quitting. YOU CAN DO IT! God bless you, my friend.

~Linda