I Want To Play

The seventh promise of Adult Children of Alcoholics says, "We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives."


I Want To Play

I fought for years to be an adult
as a child I was all grown up
by the age of ten


I didn't need to feel
it served me no purpose
I couldn't let you see me cry
nor could I ever be wrong
my survival depended
on being strong
never wrong – perfect


With this life...
I had no need for fun
or to play with friends


All enjoyment came
in the secrecy of my mind
never to be shared with anyone
for fear of what you would think
what you would see


I survived this way
for many years
and then...
and then I realized
I was an adult
who yearned to be a child


I wanted to play
to run in the rain
to jump in puddles
I wanted fantasies to come alive
I wanted to spoil the child in me


I began to see it was OK
to play... to have fun
and that child... was so excited
saying “That's great! Let's go!”
and I listened to the child
and I'm glad I did
I learned how to play
and life became fun