17 April 2011

Can uselessness disappear?

The Sixth AA Promise says, "That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear."

Every month when I start thinking about what I want to say, I go back in time to my very early days in the program and said to myself that this is BS. I felt that there was no way in hell that I would ever feel anything more then useless. And as I write about it now I know it sings out loud that it was said with self-pity.

But at the time it wasn't self-pity. I was useless. I did some very rotten things during the end of my insanity and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't justify any of it. And to say that I was drunk seemed like a cop out.

But like all the other promises over time that feeling of uselessness and self pity did disappear. It disappeared because of the 12 Steps and AA. It disappeared because I became willing to share. Not just the bad in me, but also the good in me.

The longer that I was around the program uselessness was replaced with usefulness. My experience's showed others that "if he can stay sober, so can I." I don't say that in an arrogant way but rather as a way that this promise will come true .

And when that feeling of uselessness disappears how could I have any self-pity? Think about that. If you are useful, how can you have pity? This is one promise whose seed is planted with the first three steps.

If we have a strong connection with our Higher Power how can we be useless? If we know we have a spiritual connection built on love and hope how can we have self-pity? We can't. Sitting around the tables of AA and by sharing we learn that we are not useless. We are told by new friends that we are not bad people. It's contagious. We begin to believe what we've been told for a long time and didn't want to hear it.

We are useful and should be grateful for the gift that has been given to us. That gift is being given a second chance.

1 comment:

Dave Harm said...

From Authors Den

Reviewed by Linda Settles 6/16/2009
Your voice is being heard, Dave. I'm proud to be your friend.