01 January 2011

Happy New Year

Well... it is a little after 5 PM on the east coast of the States. 6 PM in Nebraska. But in England it is 2011. It is truly unbelievable for me to say that. I am in England and Karen and I have just brought in the New Year. We watched a little of the show on TV and then watched out her living room window at the fireworks displays running around town. I was literally in tears.

Where I was at this time last year was not in a very good place... I really wasn't sure what the future had in store... but I knew I did have to change my life or I would die. I don't mean that to sound dramatic but it is quite true. For two years prior every night when I went to bed, I prayed I would die in my sleep. I had lost the will to live.

It was because of a message board that I began to come back to life. There was a divorced woman from Maryland who I talked too many nights, early on when I first joined that board and she made me feel at home. Then a member of our sanctuary became a friend who has remained a friend through all sorts of bumps.

And everyday, my HP gave me new friends and people who helped me realize that my life was worth living. I even temporarily sponsored a few folk until they found a person face to face to be with them. And I have also felt like a sponsoree at times because many of you have helped me when I needed it the most.

2010, I finally realized that I was still a young man who was capable of still finding dreams of his own to come to life. The first step was realizing that I needed to be responsible for myself before I worried about anyone else.

My marriage, that was dead five years earlier finally became reality when I quit living behind an illusion. And with that end, a new life began. The first ones to notice it were my employers. They saw how relaxed andat peace I was.

Then.... a dream came out of nowhere. To spend Christmas and New Year's in England. And I thought, "Why not? You only live once so why not?" Looking back at it tonight, it was surreal. Everything I did this past year to be here now was quite an accomplishment... and very overwhelming if I tried to do it all at once.

Instead I put my trust in my HP and before I new it, I had my passport, I had my ticket, and a year flew by... with very little effort. 2010, showed me once again how to find peace and serenity by living my HP's will for me.

And now as 2011 starts I can't wait to see what amazing journey my HP has in store for me.

To all of you... a very Happy New Year... and I hope all your dreams for 2011 come true...

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