01 September 2009

The final week - Day 3

The alarm clock I just bought woke me up at 4 AM. I instantly hoped off the mattress and began cleaning up. Not me, but the room. I had to keep it a secret that I was sleeping in a dorm room, so I had about a half an hour to pick up the empty beer cans and MacDonald’s wrappers.

Everything I still owned was out in the car and I just couldn't pick up my mess and put it in a garbage can. I had to get it out of the building. The only thing I could stick everything in was the shirt I was wearing. Yeah, I still had on the same clothes from my court appearance two days earlier and was in desperate need of a change.

I laid my shirt on the floor and threw the empty cans and everything else in it. I folded everything up inside the shirt and started making my way out of the building. I got outside, found a dumpster and got rid of everything, including my shirt.

I hopped in my car and popped open a beer and left the college grounds. I only had to drive a couple of blocks to get to the church/school and was able to quickly down two beers. I unlocked the church, carrying a change of clothes and made my way to the church restroom.

I was already beating myself up. I was in that dorm all night and didn't take a shower. So now I had to settle for a quick sponge bath. It wasn't the best, but it would have to do. Got cleaned up and unlocked the rest of the church and school.

I was starting to get paranoid that my secret would soon be found out. Not that I was a drunk, but rather that I was homeless. I was so consumed trying to devise answers for any conceivable question anyone would ask me.

I sat at my desk, deep in thought, that I didn't even see the ex walk in. I hadn't seen her since court and both of us just smiled at each other. She stopped by to tell me she was going to go to her mom's for a couple of days to get away from the house.

I apologized and asked if maybe we could get together before she left. She never really answered me... so naturally I took that as a yes.

By early afternoon I was getting excited by the idea of spending some time with the ex and told some people I had to run to town and get some parts. The parts I needed? A case of beer. I drank a few before returning to work. I snuck a few inside and enjoyed the rest of my day.

After work, I raced to the car and headed home. Right then I didn't care who might see me, I needed to spend some time with the ex before she left. I drove down our street and parked in my driveway was her boyfriend's car. I so much wanted to breakdown the door and kill them both; instead I just drove away and headed back towards my job.

I stopped and got another case of beer and just drove around drinking. I had two hours to kill before the day care center closed... so I just drank with visions of my wife in the arms of another man. And in my insane mind all I could think about was how I could get her back.

By the time the day care center was closed I was toast. I stumbled up the steps to my hideaway and thought the first thing I would do was take a shower. That wasn't such a good idea. The water felt good, but I was way to drunk to be in there.

I fell to the ground cracked open my lip. I made my way to my bed, with a stomach full of beer and nothing else and passed out before the sun had even gone down.

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