As an alcoholic, I’m still amazed at how many practicing alcoholics never accept responsibility for any of their actions. They can sit in a bar all day, everyday, never paying their bills, falling behind on child support, but it isn’t their fault.
They make promises to their children with grand plans to give them cars or cell phones or whatever, then when the rules are laid down by the custodial parent - she becomes the “bitch” because he can’t do what he wanted to. No one said he couldn’t - its just going to be with some rules and yes, you will accept some responsibility for making these promises.
They play the pity card at family gatherings, enraging their spouses and family members about how misunderstood they are. What could be misunderstood? You have a responsibility. For loans, you signed on a dotted line that you would pay. In divorce court you gave your word.
So much effort is tried to change the rules after the “game” has started and yes they can succeed at times. Crying to a judge about how broke you are and getting child support lowered but some other circumstances and expenses will no become the alcoholic’s responsibility. But all he sees is the lower child support payment, meaning more money for beer. Then down the road, he actually owes more then before. But it’s not his fault.
Well… whose fault is it? The only thing we have control over is our Word. We remain honest and we gain respect, from ourselves and others. None of this can happen while we are drunk. It’s your choice and it’s your responsibility.
Quit using your kids as pawns in your manipulative games and quit using them as your “wife” or “husband” - they are your children.